The Little Observer Inside My Home

5 Sep

All mothers know that their children are little sponges.  They have amazing memories and remember details of many different things.  They can learn multiple languages easily (I missed the boat on that one , though).   I have been well aware that I have a little wide-eyed witness to every breakdown, every bad mood and every little thing I say in my home.  Sometimes I feel like a little video camera is recording my every move.  Sometimes you hear your own voice back at you – things you can’t believe you would say – and they are then repeated for all in a crowded elevator!  For example, one of my favorites was in a very crowded elevator in our apartment building.  Of course, there is polite elevator silence.  My son decides to ask: “Mommy I know you are tired, do you want to go home and take off all your clothes?”  I, of course, was mortified as I waited 14 floors for the elevator to arrive at our stop.  This impromptu announcement by my son was as a result of watching me on a daily basis come home and say “I’m so tired – I can’t wait to get out of this suit” (and then proceed to change into my  sweatpants)!

As a result of our life situation,  my son has visits with his dad (infrequently these days) and I  fear that my son will observe “bad qualities”  of hsi father (of which there are many!).   I have this fear because I know that my son wants so much to spend time with his father and adores him and really loves to model the male influences in his life.  Moreover, he is constantly drawing a dichotomy that I am a girl and he is a boy and that girls STINK! 

Sometimes my son naturally exhibits his father’s facial expressions. It almost always drives me nuts.  Nuts to the point that I want to lock him in his room!  You see, I hate his father.  His father is not a nice person and was a terrible husband.  He doesn’t even know how to be someone’s friend.   So, when my son is playing his diego videogame on leap frog and blows kisses in the air and says things like “Yeah, Ba-by!” I totally cringe and can’t really look at my son until the facial expressions have passed.

However, today the witness to my life made me very proud.  I have been trying to introduce healthier foods into our life.  I’ve been cooking more vegetarian/vegan-like meals and when we go out for the day, I usually pack some healthy foods for him and I so we don’t have to stop at a local vendor to grab something unhealthy. 

Today we decided to go for a bike ride on the East River promenade.  As I was getting ready for our ride, my son went into the kitchen and started to put together a snack pack for our ride.  He packed a banana, an apple, some nuts and some dried fruit (and some goldfish – leftovers from before I was trying to be  super healthy).  I was so proud of him.  He even filled my water bottle and his water bottle with fresh water.   All of this was done instinctively by him and was no prompted.

I know that he is a witness to all that I may not like about his father but watching him initiate this simple snack packing and at the same time verbally articulating  that he was packing “healthy foods” for our bike trip – gave me the confidence that he will continue to be witness to both the good and the bad – but hopefully will learn to choose the good stuff (despite the innate wicked facial expressions of his father) and grown into a good, kind, confident man.


2 Responses to “The Little Observer Inside My Home”

  1. Sue September 6, 2011 at 1:07 pm #

    He is the best little man!! Don’t forget his comment to his stressed out aunt and uncle…”maybe everyone should try to do one thing at a time”. I remember holding him at chloe’s age, and can’t believe he’s now giving US advice to soothe and calm us down. Love him so much!

    • CityMama September 7, 2011 at 2:40 am #

      I didn’t know he said that. He is really special. I just adore him.

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