Human Connections

10 Sep

One of the things I love to do is to feel a connection with another human being.  I love getting to know another person and understanding that person and what they have been through and how they see life.  After going through my own personal crisis of a failed marriage – I have found that I am able to develop more deeper connections with people in my life and new people I’ve met along the way on this journey.  For some reason, I am able to understand other people and see them better.  I believe my personal crisis enabled me to have deeper compassion for other people that are going through a difficult life experience and  has made me more open to my own emotions that I never really understood.

Even though I am able to make these human connections more easily now, I do find that my ability to connect is mainly with women.  I have been able to mee women from all over the world and find some basis of connection – mainly the dearth of a few good men! 

One of the reasons I think I find that I (we) don’t connect as well with men is because many of the men that I have met are not emotionally evolved like most women are – as we have the capacity to feel and be empathetic in ways that men don’t seem capable of (well most of the men I have met in my life thus far, anyway) .

Women are a pretty special species — just on a biological basis I find women amazing — we can create a baby within our bodies, carry the baby for 40 weeks, labor through painful delivery and then proceed to feed the baby exclusively by the milk our bodies produce and then for some of us, do it all again -multiple times! 

Being a woman is beautiful thing and I have never ever wanted to be a male.  However, the concern , for me, of not being able to connect with men on an emotional level is twofold (1) I have a deep desire to feel an emotional connection with  a man as I have not experienced a real connection with a man in my entire dating life and (2) I am raising a little man myself who I want to be sure will be able to emotional connect with other humans as he grows! 

The dearth of a few good men to experience life with – worldwide- is quite concerning to me as I need to understand what I need to do to make sure my little man is going to be raised in a way that he will be emotionally available and able to make human connections just as I have been able to make. 

In order to teach my son how to be connected with his emotional self, I ask him to identify what he is feeling (i.e. angry, sad, happy) and talk to me about why he feels that way.  This exercise is of course at the simplest level, however, I hope that this will help him to begin to learn how to identify his emotions and process them better and be able to share them. 

As for my quest for a good man to develop an emotional connection with, I believe he must be out there, I have accepted that I need to go through the entire barrel of unevolved men until I find him – and be sure to say “next” to each one that does not appear to be delivering what I need on an emotional level.

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2 Responses to “Human Connections”

  1. Blanca September 11, 2011 at 10:57 pm #

    I’ve often wondered why it’s that much easier to connect with women than men. I have a couple of thoughts as well, but mostly wonder if it has to do with expectations. If when I meet a man, I’m already thinking is he an option? That has to affect how I’m perceived and/or how I pursue a ‘friendship’.

    • CityMama September 13, 2011 at 2:07 am #

      I think you are right – it may be difficult to connect with a man because there is the underlying possibility that there will be a physical relationship between a straight man and a straight woman – and usually one is hoping for it. It’s hard to say. I will never really know – I just know that I’m hoping to one day meet that person that I have a connection with in all ways – emotional, physical, intellectual, etc. I won’t sacrifice this time.

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