The Greatest Love of All

7 Nov

I’ve been falling in love with my son more and more everyday.  As he is developing into his own person with his own beautiful personality and I watch and guide him as he grows – I find myself head over heels in love.    I want to burn each moment  in my head forever, I want to never forget the sound of his voice, his little hands that are looking for independence and  his big brown expressive eyes that communicate so much to me. 

Falling in love with my son has taught me that I have never been in love before.  Not love like this anyway.  This love for my son is so great that when I think about how much I love him – tears roll down my face.  It really is the “greatest love of all.” 

Falling in love with my son is the greatest gift my son has given me – the knowledge to know that I can love.  I thought I didn’t have the ability to love someone deeply until the day my son was born.  I knew I loved him from the first moment I saw him and heard his cry.  Now I can’t stop loving him – even if he is thrashing his body on the floor because of some minor disagreement – I find that I can’t help but pick him up (thrashing and everything) to see what is really bothering him.  The temper tantrum is just a communication of something deeper.  Usually I am right.

He came home after a long weekend with his dad and he was very difficult.  Last night, he was throwing things and really had a temper.  He refused to take a bath, clean up the mess he created and kept telling me he was “really angry with me.”  After a few minutes of observing him, I picked him up and kissed the tears out of his eyes and asked him if he wanted to read some books and cuddle.  He stopped crying immediately.  He quickly fell asleep in his bed after reading the stories he chose in my arms.  He was cuddled up really close to me.  I knew he really missed me and our routine. 

I knew that there was something wrong – the temper tantrum was just a communication to me from him because he couldn’t articulate what he wanted.  In the past I would have gotten annoyed with DB and frustrated with my son – but I believe as I gain experience as a parent and get to know my son better as an individual, I have been able to take a step back to try to see beyond the physical temper tantrum.  Also, accessing and feeling that deep great love for him – has made me have patience I never thought I would be able to access.

A long weekend off doesn’t hurt either for providing clarity and patience with your four year old.

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