Negotiating with an Emotional Terrorist

15 Dec
The Terrorist (film)

Image via Wikipedia

My office has been quite busy for the last few weeks and I have been totally exhausted in the evenings – unable to think a single creative thought.  In addition, to the end of the year hustle and bustle in and outside of the office I have been dealing with DB and his emotional terrorism.  He, as you know, was quite abusive to me in everyway – physically, mentally and emotionally. 

My family and I called him a terrorist during my divorce proceedings because we felt like I was being held hostage to his unreasonable demands for alimony and other financial rewards as a result of our marriage.  We agreed with Israel’s position that we can’t negotiate with terrorists (well until the very recent exchange for 1000 palestinians – but’s that another dicussion for another day).

DB is now trying to unsuccessfly manipulate the holiday schedule in our Separation Agreement with respect to my son.  He is sending me emails, calling me, texting me and incessantly insisting that he has my son on days that he clearly does not have my son.  Our Agreement is clear that holidays supersede regular parenting visits.

Last year, at this time, I probably would have given up.  However, I’m ready for the fight with him.  I am by nature a person who likes to negotiate and compromise.  I’m typically a people pleaser who wants everyone to be happy.  At times, I sense a compromise coming on me but I have decided not to take that route this time. 

There will be no compromises, especially since he is again trying to insert his will to control me, my son and my schedule.  I will not negotiate with this emotional terrorist regarding the parenting schedule.   I will not allow him to keep taking advantage of my good nature.    I keep telling him there is nothing further to discuss with him.

I know him and I know him well.  He will not be able to walk away from this fight until he scars me again – emotionally or in some other way.  However, I am no longer afraid of him.  I have come along way since the days of doubting myself.  No, I know I’m right and I know that I’m acting in the best interests of my child – which is the most important details that is suometimes left out in a heated discussion with an emotional terrorist who has no remorse for his actions.

I’m wondering how other single moms deal with the complext issues that are a result of this no so untraditional life.

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One Response to “Negotiating with an Emotional Terrorist”

  1. Maria December 15, 2011 at 6:23 pm #

    NO ONE should give in to terrorists (especially douchebag terrorists)!!! Stand strong…you have it in you!! You can no longer be manipulated…you control you.
    He has lost control and that is why he is grasping at straws.
    You are a strong confident woman and mother and you will always do what is right for you and your child!
    From one single mom to another…no one else could do what we do for our children and for ourselves…

    …period…end of story.

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