Tag Archives: boys

Peter Pan and Pixie Dust!

10 Apr
Tinker Bell and the Mysterious Winter Woods

Tinker Bell and the Mysterious Winter Woods (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There are days I love being a single mom.  This past Easter Sunday was one of them.  My son has been into Peter Pan since we returned from Disney in October.  He saw Peter Pan during one of the productions and at Magic Kingdom he just related to this character so much!  We’ve read the original story of Peter Pan before bedtime and  watched the guest appearance of  Peter Pan on Jake and the Neverland Pirates last month. 

The Easter bunny left some chocolate for him in his Easter basket but the highlight this year for my little guy was not the chocolate bunny from Lindt or the Peanut Butter Easter eggs – it was a Peter Pan costume.  He immediately decided to put it on and act in full character for me.

Later that day we had dinner with family near the beach and my son and I went for a walk on the beach (with Mid-Western Boy, as well).  My little guy was dressed in his Peter Pan costume and was an amazing sight to see as he searched for treasure on the beach and threatened to fight Captain Hook (aka. Mid-Western Boy) with “one hand behind his back!” 

It’s his imagination and creativity that I love!  I try my best to nurture this part of him because I know at some point I lost my imagination and find it hard to create – I want my son to know the importance of being creative and thinking freely.  I know that it is as a single parent that I am able to do this…the man I was married to, whom I conceived this beautiful child with , also known as DB, would never permit this in his home.  In fact, his father has repeatedly asked  me why I allow my son to run around outside the  home in costume.  My son has also confided in me many times that when he is at his father’s house he cannot choose what to wear on his own – his father choose his clothes for him….

Allowing my son to dress himself and wear his costumes and act out his favorite characters, I believe, allows for the full development of this little person — without interference from me or anyone else (except for maybe correcting on manners and other social skills) and allows him to be free from judgement, negativity and helps develop his confidence.  Something, that I think an overbearing father, like DB, would not allow to have happened.

My only regret is that I didn’t bring my camera along to capture this very special afternoon!

A Date with My Four Year Old

1 Apr

My little man and I spend at least one day a week (usually a saturday afternoon) on a date!  One of my very favorite things we have done together recently is enjoy New York City’s generous music/art scene designed specifically for children.  

We attended a performance by the Little Orchestra Society of Cinderella and the Prince who Slayed the Magic Dragon at Avery Fisher Hall in Lincoln Center.  A few weeks later, we attended the performance of Lucky Duck at the New Victory Theater.   For both events, I spent last then $25 on our tickets combined!   I usually choose the cheaper seats in the house and then politely request to move to better seats if the show is not sold out  (this has been successful on almost every single occasion – except one so far – event was sold out).   I also almost always look for discount codes before I purchase tickets.  Every performance I have taken my son to was purchased at a discount – including these two performances.

Finally, one of the keys to saving money on this type of event – we always take public transportation (in our case the subway or bus) and pack our food.  I usually pack my son’s favorite meal – peanut butter and jelly sandwich – cut into fours apple slices, a squeezable yogurt and a thermos of ice-cold water.  We always arrive to the performance early so we can find a place to sit and eat our “picnic” lunch and use the restroom!

I hope that exposing my son to music and theater at a young age will help him to appreciate the arts as he grows into a young man.  I hope you have a chance to enjoy a performance with your little person in a city near you soon and see how it impacts their imagination and view of the world! 

My Wise Four Year Old

1 Apr

I was enjoying a little Saturday Morning Dance Party in our living room with my four year old son.  When we were done grooving to LMFAO‘s “I’m Sexy and I Know it” and Rock Party Anthem – I told him I loved spending time with him and that he really is a blessing in my life.  Then I impulsively asked him – “are we best friends, goose – goose?” 

He replied in his sweet little voice (I wish I can record it forever) – “Mommyyyyy, we can’t be best friends – You’re my mommy and I’m your son!”

My wise four year old.  He reminded me of my place in his life  – I am his parent and I don’t want to be his friend – I need to be his parent so he can grow into a well adjusted gentleman.

Celebrating My 25 Year Old Reproductive Organs

6 Oct

Today is my birthday.  I turn 35 – I’ve officially entered my mid-thirties.  I remember when my Dad turned 40 and we had an “over the hill” party for him.  I don’t believe I’m 5 years closer to being “over the hill” and I think I’m much younger than my dad was at 35 but we shall see as time does its cruel crawl to that “over the hill” milestone. 

The first real relationship I had after my divorce was with that certain gentleman that I told you about – who was 10 years younger than me.  He was the most beautiful looking man (or should I say boy-man) I thought (and still think)  I had ever laid my eyes on.  Me, so practiced in self-criticism, so very self-conscious of my age, harbored several insecurities that “everyone” could tell how much older I was than him when I was with him.  I also felt insecurities about how  he would find distaste in  my body that had delivered vaginally a 7 lb 7 oz little man.  My inner life would constantly be preoccupied with evaluating the supple body and skin of beautiful twenty-something year olds walking the streets of New York City that I believed this beautiful boy-man should have been dating. 

After our relationship ended,  I  wallowed daily in the thoughts that my beautiful boy-man may at any moment fall in love with some supple twenty-something year old who did not harbor the scars of delivering and carrying a child and he would think to himself what the hell was he thinking of sleeping with and spending time with such an old lady as myself? 

Luckily for me, these thoughts were  put to rest a few weeks after our break-up (sometime in July) at my annual check-up with my Gynecologist.  I have been seeing this certain Gynecologist since I moved back to the city so she was not the same Gynecologist that delivered my son (although the history of my childbirth was in her charts).  As she was doing my sonogram and physical checkup of my ovaries, she told me that my uterus and ovaries were in great shape for when I was ready to have a child.  So, I looked up over my feet hoisted in those stirrups and said “Dr. M – I delivered a child almost 4 years to the day”.   And she blushed and was quite understandably startled and proceeded to look more closely at my digital chart on her electronic device and profusely apologized for not reviewing it carefully before seeing me.  I said it was quite alright.  When she checked my age she told me she thought I looked  about 10 years younger than I was! 

At first I was startled that this Gynecologist could not tell from looking at my vagina that I had delivered a child vaginally – don’t we all get kind of messed up down there after pushing a baby out?  I was distracted and wondering if I should find a new Gynecologist.   A few hours later I realized that I needed to listen more closely to the message the universe was trying to send me – that this was not cause for alarm – this was cause for celebration!  There was no need for me to be caught up in how I looked “so old” or the “numbers” and to stop being distracted by thoughts that my “private parts” were not up to par with some young thing’s vagina! 

So today when I celebrate my birthday, I will toast to my “25 year old-vagina” and remember to feel more confident in my body and my skin the next time I expose myself to a man like that again.

Human Connections

10 Sep

One of the things I love to do is to feel a connection with another human being.  I love getting to know another person and understanding that person and what they have been through and how they see life.  After going through my own personal crisis of a failed marriage – I have found that I am able to develop more deeper connections with people in my life and new people I’ve met along the way on this journey.  For some reason, I am able to understand other people and see them better.  I believe my personal crisis enabled me to have deeper compassion for other people that are going through a difficult life experience and  has made me more open to my own emotions that I never really understood.

Even though I am able to make these human connections more easily now, I do find that my ability to connect is mainly with women.  I have been able to mee women from all over the world and find some basis of connection – mainly the dearth of a few good men! 

One of the reasons I think I find that I (we) don’t connect as well with men is because many of the men that I have met are not emotionally evolved like most women are – as we have the capacity to feel and be empathetic in ways that men don’t seem capable of (well most of the men I have met in my life thus far, anyway) .

Women are a pretty special species — just on a biological basis I find women amazing — we can create a baby within our bodies, carry the baby for 40 weeks, labor through painful delivery and then proceed to feed the baby exclusively by the milk our bodies produce and then for some of us, do it all again -multiple times! 

Being a woman is beautiful thing and I have never ever wanted to be a male.  However, the concern , for me, of not being able to connect with men on an emotional level is twofold (1) I have a deep desire to feel an emotional connection with  a man as I have not experienced a real connection with a man in my entire dating life and (2) I am raising a little man myself who I want to be sure will be able to emotional connect with other humans as he grows! 

The dearth of a few good men to experience life with – worldwide- is quite concerning to me as I need to understand what I need to do to make sure my little man is going to be raised in a way that he will be emotionally available and able to make human connections just as I have been able to make. 

In order to teach my son how to be connected with his emotional self, I ask him to identify what he is feeling (i.e. angry, sad, happy) and talk to me about why he feels that way.  This exercise is of course at the simplest level, however, I hope that this will help him to begin to learn how to identify his emotions and process them better and be able to share them. 

As for my quest for a good man to develop an emotional connection with, I believe he must be out there, I have accepted that I need to go through the entire barrel of unevolved men until I find him – and be sure to say “next” to each one that does not appear to be delivering what I need on an emotional level.

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